The Greatest Tribute Games
I bring forth this page of madness to cultivate the Greatest Tribute Games. To explain, I will be picking 24 tributes that I believe are the most creative and delightful pieces of art to ever grace our wiki with their presence. Only the mightiest of champions will be able to prevail in this festival of blood by utilizing the most awesome of powers available to their disposal. 'Note: Please do not be offended if your tribute was selected to participate and is parodied in a distasteful manner, but if you are, let me know so I may remove your tribute. Also not for the weak. ' The Worthy Champions Training Scores The Hunger Games begin! Day One - "Because I'm like a Black Widow, hoe." Kronos Blade I couldn't believe I was surrounded by such plebs. The lot gathered here was certainly a ridiculous bunch, which brought great shame to me considering I volunteered to be part of this pitiful crowd. I sighed, and dramatically flipped my hair as I stood in my pedestal, likely causing the panties of my devoted fans to drop flamboyantly as their ovaries bursted with fervor. Yes, I am quite the sexy mother fucker, though that Miles guy ought to check his privilege. Though his admirers obviously do not compare to my own, it's a known fact that sexiness cancels each other out. In District 3, you learn that negatives cancel each other, so this is definitely a proper analogy. Then again, they do result in a positive, so it isn't that bad after all. Bah, fuck analogies, I'm sexy and I know it. Gerald Miles I'm cooler than Kronos. Cedric Mason In just a few moments, the Hunger Games will have officially begun. I quiver with excitement as the thought of murdering these absolute strangers almost causes me to climax. Then again, killing isn't nice, and as a renowned nice guy, it is my duty to follow all rules that accord to the nice code. But I am insane, so I am probably exempt from this somewhat logical reasoning. Beside me, one of the girls from District 10 smiles and winks her eye toward my direction, almost flirtatiously. I flash a grin, but her expression quickly contorted and shifts to a face of perfect disgust. Confused, I turn my head only to discover that Gerald is beside me, admiring his reflection through the glass. Enraged and humiliated, I piss on the glass toward my rival. But as I continued to fill the pedestal with my golden urine, the pedestal begins to shake. "Shit," I tried to exclaim but the explosion muffled my cry of fear, instead forcing me to say, "GARGGHHHHHHHHH!" I died, almost instantly if I may add, a pissed man. Luna Tick I break out into a frantic laughter as Cedric's yelps are drowned out by the raging echo of the explosion. However, the vibration abruptly halts, allowing everyone to hear me laugh. There's an awkward pause before everyone is holding back their own laughter, eying me out as they continue to point and gaffaw. Those unruly bastards don't know what'll hit them! Announcer "k lmao let the hungry gaems bagin!" Trackerjacker Mois I notice Luna attempt to strangle Jacob, but since he's too damn big, she can barely even reach his chest. He retaliates by delivering her one hell of a backhand, which sends her flying to the ground. Ooh, killem! I notice that one emo kid called Lucius trying to find some cars keys so he can hop into that mother fucking Porsche, but he ultimately fails. He instead decides to run towards me while swinging a disco stick. "Summon no Justsu!" I yell. A swarm of trackerjackers appear and begin to violate terrorize him. I send the bugs away as I stand before Lucius. He's still alive, because plot. I plunge my hand through his chest and pull out his still beating heart. Suddenly, Shia LaBeouf appears and yells at me, "Just do it!" I nod and crush the heart of my enemy, causing him to die almost instantly. I did it for Shia. I have emerged victorious. My victory doesn't last long, however, as Jacob backhands me himself. I fall unconciously the instant his hairs grace my face. May Blossom I hate everyone because I love my father and he bought me a bow. I try my best to fire arrows toward my foes, but like a Storm Trooper, my aim is terrible even though I'm canonically a great shot. Suddenly, an assailant appears behind me and elbows me in the boob. I fall, defeated as I cradle my lump of fat. "You should've known better. . ." she spit at me. Enraged, I spit at her back. "Than to mess with me, honey," she begins to stomp on me, but begins to speak in my father's voice (for the sake of the plot), shocking me, "I'm gonna love ya, I'm gonna love ya, gonna love ya, gonna love ya . . ." She whispers in my ear, "Like a black widow, baby." Millions of black widow spawn straight from the gates of Hell pour from her mouth, almost causing me to scream except they're filling me up to prevent this. My situation begets mercy as I attempt to ask what the hell is up with Spidey. "Wh-" "Because I'm like a Black Widow, hoe." A black widow bit my uvula, causing me to die almost instantly. Jacob Woods I slap people for a living. Smile Bloodtooth I flew into the Cornucopia and grabbed the first thing I could devour. A chameleon. "Stop, I can't live without my second half," cried Zee. Too bad for her, I just ate that lizard as if it was bacon bits. Zee disintegrated, which I didn't care much about as I flew away and began shitting on everybody. Richard Mason Boom x4 I barely escaped the bloodbath alive. I witnessed Gregory murder Bobbin effortlessly. The again, Bobbin sucked ass and was irritating, so I suppose I don't care as much as I'd like to admit. "Hiss, hiss, mother fucker." Solomon crept up from behind me. Bewildered, I somehow manage to effortlessly climb up a conveniently placed tree. At first, I think I'm saved until I notice two things: one, Solomon has claws so of course he can fucking climb, and two, there just had to be trackerjacker nests in every tree I climb. This is a palm tree! Luckily, I currently have plot armor, so I rip the nest from where it's perched, and throw it at Solomon. He dies from the multiple stings almost instantly, making his green skin appear even greener on the green, grassy fields littered with green beans. Boom Jaycie Mayville Thanks to my magic hands, I start up a fire surprisingly quickly. I roast a green bean over the kindle, my stomach growling as I lick my lips. I don't even know what the Hunger Games are really about, but if I can get more food like this, I won't care. "Hi, my name is Jacob Woods and welcome to Jackass," Jacob emerges, his heavenly OP Excalibur by his side. For some reason, the weapon seemed to be singing a song, but it was mainly weird gibberish to me. I try to escape, but it's no use. "Smack cam," Jacob say as backhands me and my head explodes almost instantly. Sextus Costella I try my best to chase Rose, but she's a pretty fast runner for a retard. I corner her, my knife shimmering in the artificial light of a nearby Macbook. A gleeful smile crosses my lips, but it twists the moment she hits me right in the nuts. "Ha, deez nuts," she exclaims. "Gotem!" She escapes, only to freeze in terror once she realizes the only way to go down is by using the stairs, as the elevator is out of order. She faints, resulting in her falling down the stairs, almost killing her instantly. okay.jpg Boom Dominique Reznov I still can't believe that Cedric thought I was flirting with him, but whatever. All I know is that both Kronos and Gerald are pretty damn hot. Suddenly, I hear an ominous sound coming from an ominous clearing. I ready my spear in case an ominous figure materializes. Rory appears, his face covered in blood and eyes full of death. It's the actual cannibal Rory Wheat! Luckily I know Ju Jitsu, otherwise I wouldn't have been able been to defeat him. Wait, he isn't dead! Rory Revelation! If I had some fruit, I definitely could've ended his life by now. Whoa fam, he's wearing those banana boxers tho! I effortlessly throw my spear through the air, catching him in the anus where he died almost instantly. Gerald would've been so proud. Boom Grania Gore It's already night time and I didn't kill anybody! The High School Musical song "Breaking Free" begins to play as the faces of the fallen illuminati-ate the sky. "Rest in Pepperoni" These people vvvvvvvvvv Death Chart I hope I get some more screen time tomorrow. End of Day One Day 2 - "Oh shit nuggets." Trackerjacker Mois I wake up in the middle of the field by the Cornucopia. Hard to believe no one finished me off when Jacob knocked me out, but I ain't complaining. Suddenly I am ambshed by a barrage of black widows. My trackerjackers engage them in the battlefield, putting everything they have in their attacks. "Spiderman is the best superhero," cried Spidey. Aggravated, I throw a brick at her face while screaming, "No! Wasp is!" She dodges it effortlessly. "Spider senses, mother fucker." "Spider sense this!" I whipped out her phone and texted the fan club she's in that she has given up Spiderman to worship the true overlord Shrek. "No, this isn't my swamp!" exclaimed Spidey. She died from the embarrassment almost instantly. Booom I think I've won, but I suddenly die almost instantly from a punch by Smile who just happened to stroll by. "You're both wrong, Batman is the real MVP!" he scolded. Scrub. Boooooom. Joke Lolor I'm walking at first, but then I notice something unreal: a sharknado was coming! A great white tried to eat me, but I had my chainsaw ready. I easily sliced the fish in half without any reprecussions. Yum, sushi. I easily escape the sharknado thanks to my amazing speed (I'm probably the fastest guy in the arena.) Suddenly, I notice that Bowser is busy grabbing thorns from bushes to add to his club. Wow, what a dumbass. He's no looker either, so I don't feel any remorse as I rise my chainsaw. However, it looked as if he heard me. "Oh shit nuggets," I try to say, but I'm cut off as I'm burned to death from fire that somehow came from his mouth. I died almost instantly. boom . . . Grania Gore I met a rabbit and killed it. Now, I'm using its body as a weapon. Sextus shows up and said, "Retard." I'm enraged, but don't react any further because he started speaking again and interupting him by killing him would be bad even though I'd probably win because he's obviously off-guard at the moment. Oh well. "I know you act edgy and strong because you're afraid people will think you're weak. It's okay to accept that you're not strong, that's why we have each other. You don't need to be alone anymore." I'm so moved I start crying blood like Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way even though that makes no sense. Enoby is my role model by the way. "I . . . I thought no one could understand how hard it was-" Shit, he just stabbed me in the butt. I hit him in the dick with the rabbit corpse. "Hobknocker!" I say as I continue to bash his body. I grab him by his hair, kiss him, rip out his tongue and spine, and dance on it as I continue to lose blood. Booooooooooooooooooom Knowing that I would die soon even though the wound isn't that deep, I decide to jump off the edge of this place and into the water. It was a 2-inch drop and the water was only an inch deep, but I drown and die not almost instantly at all and it was terrible, but at least I died technically undefeated. boom boom boooooooooooooom Gerald Miles Ugh, everyone here is a cunt. Glad we're down to ten people surviving, since my victory is almost ensured now. The faces of the fallen are shown as the song "Whatcha Say" by Jason Derulo plays. A lot of threats died, but that's fine, since now I must be the only real contender alive. RIP in peace to these peeps vvvvvvvvv Death Chart End of Day 2 Day Tree - "My ass is so fine even trackjackers don't want to mangle that shit up." Dahlia Jovic I'm so tired and exhausted. I've somehow managed to find and ally with my district partner, but man, who would've thought they would put two girls from the same district into the Hunger Games? I heard this happened to some guys too. "Dominique," I softly asked her. "Yes, hun?" "Do you have a dick?" "Bitch, the fuck." "Oh, never mind lmao." I decided not to persist on the issue. "STOP RIGHT THERE YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!" It was . . . . . . . . . . Smile Bloodtooth with a long, white beard! He threw an axe at us, but luckily I managed to dodge. I picked up a rock and hit him in the big toe. Furiously, he threw a branch at us after losing his axe, but I easily parried his attempt with a nearby nugget. He cried out in fury and threw a massive boulder at us; large enough so it was impossible to evade. I grabbed his axe and cleaved the mineral in half. "All right, this is bullshit. You can't godmod," he grumbled. "I'm not godmodding!" I complain. "Yes you are. Ah fuck, whatever, let's just try this again." "lmao k," me and Dominique replied in unison. "lolz twinsies!" we say again. "Jinx, jinx, jinx again!" "Our mental synchronization Can have but one explanation Dominique: You- Dahlia: And I- Dominique: Were- Dahlia: Just- Both: meant to have a platonic, understand friendship which is absolutely acceptable and pleasing according to our standards and liking." "Scrut, scrut fools, welcome to my domain!" Smile rudely interrupted. I grabbed an empty glass bottle from my handbag and threw it past him. "Did you hear that!" I said. "Dude, I just saw you throw that, c'mon now." "You can never be sure." "Fair point, I'll-nkdbehfwEHBHWKBFJNEKBEFWHyoupoopHBWFJHojdilfwe!" I sent a lot of stones at him while he was distracted for a 0.2 second, killing him almost instantly. 800M "I did it!" I exclaimed, but then I realized I had a fucking spear in me. "Oh shit, sorry bruh, there was a pineapple that fell right by you when I tried to attack Smile, so it like turned around and got you instead of him." smh B-O-O-M Gregory Krylov "I found it," I said to no one in particular. "The rarest Pepe in existence!" I had my suspicions from the start but there was no questioning it now: this painting I made with my urine and Bobbin's blood was most certainly the most valuable thing in the world-no, the universe even! "That's just a recoloring, it ain't rare." I spun around to see Kronos sitting on a rock with a bored expression. "What did you say," I growled. "It isn't rare, it's literally just the "Feels Good" Pepe painted red and yellow. Hardly worth a buck on the market, which has already long crashed." "No, I will revive it! This Pepe is the answer to all of my life's mysteries, it contains great fortune and value! How could say my Pepe isn't rare at all." "I know my stuff kid, you're probably just another normie who just got swept into the trend just because one of your friends posted that picture where Pepe is on the ground with his spaghetti falling out of his pockets and you thought it was hilarious. Not to mention, that Pepe doesn't even compare to the raw dankness of even rarer Pepes!" Enraged, I gave a high pitch, puberty scream and gave my battle cry, "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kronos was not amused. "Listen here you soggy, hormonal coach douche, looks like you need . . . conditioning." He snapped his fingers and a dog appeared. I couldn't even react and was conquered almost instantly. Kronos shook his head. "White 12-year olds kids and their Call of Duty," he muttered before walking away. BOO- oh ew, BOOM Gerald Miles This is my first proper POV, so I can't obviously mess it up. Unfortunately, the writer is quite lazy so he has decided to skip ahead to my confrontation with Richard. "Sup lard cake, ready to get off that tree so we can scuffle?" I mumble. "Nah man, how about you get ready to handle . . . THESE TRACKERJACKERS IN A TRAP!" He threw down a trackjacker nest in a box. The box broke almost instantly, along with the nest. The trackjackers stared at me and went after Richard instead. "Wait, what!" Richard managed to say moments before he was rekt almost instantly. Hmph. He should've known my ass is so fine even trackerjackers don't want to mangle that shit up. Hugh Jass Wow, that guy thinks he's an ass? He should meet me lmao. flips camera off while flipping hair and doing a backflip at the same time Luna Tick I can't believe I've been asleep for three days. On the bright side, I have the Cornucopia all to myself. But to my horror, all the weapons have been replaced my two meter steel dildos. Oh yeah, and the faces were shown. Today's song started as pretty serene, but ended up being "Never Gonna Give Up." Needless to say, I could hear everyone audibly, including myself. Fucking Gamemakers man. RIP, sweet prince Death Chart End of Day Tree Day Poor Kronos Blade Today is the last day. I smile happily. In a couple of hours, I will be crowned the Edgiest Victor of them all. Soon enough, all will be chanting the name of Kronos Monica Blade! (Ignore my middle name omg fuck you dad this is why I killed you.) I hurried toward the others when a message fell from the sky. Confused, I examined it over and couldn't even believe what I was reading. I was dethroned?! Impossible! How could I, Kronos Blade, no longer possess the longest tribute template? Wait, what? More than 11,000 words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This cannot be. I'm. . . I'm not even in the top five. I cannot live with this. boom :(((((((((( Jacob Woods Whoa, I just heard a cannon. Radical, man. Considering the rest of us had gathered by the Cornucopia to prepare for the final battle, it must've been Kronos who died. Poor guy, guess he just wasn't prepared to face reality. We all took one last look at each other before charging all at once until everyone simutaneously erupted into fire and began dying almost instantly. Well, everyone, except for ''me. '' "What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" They all stammered until they collapsed in a heap of dust. Boom x4 I stood there, bewildered. What had happened? ONLY YOU CAN STOP FOREST FIRES I turned my head to face the most majestic being I had ever encountered. He had the face of a snarky brute, but the elegant body of a tricycle. A Trike-God, if you will. YOU CAN IGNORE WHAT I SAID BEFORE, I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I DON'T KNOW, ANYWAY CONGRATS YOU WON, I'M THE TRIKE-GOD BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA Weird shit, man. "Erhm, congratulations to Jacob Woods of District 9!" And that was the day the Hunger Games were disbanded the end. oh and rip Death Chart Author's note: Well these were terrible to write but somewhat satisfying nonetheless :))))) P.S. Hard to believe this is my only finished Games thus far, unless you count that overview of The Ultimate Standoff. Category:Hunger Games Category:~ForsakenZephyr~